June awoke to the warm rays of the morning sun filtering in through the window to rest on his face. Beside him lay Keyvarah, her nude body cuddled up to him, seeking shelter from an endless storm. June sighed because that was the exact situation he was in. The cruelty and tragedy inflicted upon her were evident.
However, that wasn’t his biggest concern at the moment. His eyes fell to Keyvarah’s belly and narrowed. The spark of life that was forming there sent a shiver of fear down his spine. He could have prevented this easily by cycling Death Essence throughout his body during sex. But no, he surrendered to the pleasure, and now this was the consequence.
With a light exhale through his nose, he lifted his left hand toward her belly, cycling Death Essence into it. However, before he was even close to touching her, he stopped himself.
What are you doing, man!?
His hand fell back to his side, and he stared up at the ceiling, blowing a strand of her red hair from his face. Sarah’s sudden voice rang in his mind, nearly startling him right out of bed.
It seemed like you were just about to abort the baby.
Rage coursed through him upon hearing her words.
Fucking hell, Sarah! I don’t need your snarky commentary in such a delicate situation!
Peace fell over his mind for a second before Sarah’s voice rang out again.
Why would it matter if you aborted the child? You are well within your rights to.
Jesus fucking christ, Sarah. I’m not about to get into an ethical and moral debate with you on just how fucked up what you said was. I decided to forgo protection last night. Now it’s her decision whether or not to keep the child.
I’m just saying, you’ve ascended to Godhood. The whims of mortals are no longer any concern of yours.
The veins on the side of his head were near bursting as he wrestled to control his rage.
I am no God. I may have attained god-like powers, but that! Does! Not! Make! Me! A! God!
He was furious with her continued lack of humanity and her attempt to thrust it upon him. But, at the end of the day, he was more furious with himself for having those dark thoughts, not to mention the fact of nearly enacting them. He needed some space—alone time—to think in peace.
He channeled his Kinetic Essence, forming a thin layer between him and Keyvarah. With it, he gently lifted her enough for him to move out from under her before setting her down. She remained fast asleep, settling onto the pillow, as if he hadn’t just moved out from under her.
He got out of bed, stretching out his arms and back as he glanced out the window. Several people were wandering about the camp, preparing breakfast, by his estimation, as several huddled near a pot strung over a campfire. Yisha stood nearby at a table, chopping up some vegetables. His gaze lingered briefly on her before he turned and pulled the covers closed.
It hadn’t escaped his attention that he had forgotten to shut it the night before and that they had an audience. One… to be exact, Reyah. Still, he had felt her presence with his Aura Sense even if she believed she had remained subtle. He just deliberately chose to ignore her, unlike Keyvarah.
With a shake of his head, he entered the bathroom and placed a Kinetic barrier around the room before relieving himself. His life was going to become way more complicated than it needed to be if he didn’t handle things with Keyvarah soon. After flushing the toilet, he drained the tub full of cold bathwater from the previous night before standing in front of the mirror.
He conjured a thin blade of Kinetic Essence and trimmed his beard down to a manageable length before cutting his excessively long hair until it was short and tapered with just enough left on top for a comb-over. Finishing that up, he conjured a minty mouthwash into his cupped hands by channeling his Water and Nature Essences. It was something he no longer needed to do.
After he ascended to the Divine Realm, most of these hygienic routines became moot. But he still did them anyway because of the ritual behind them. It kept him grounded and helped him maintain a sense of familiarity with what he had lost, so he might never forget them. Because 150,000 years was a long time, and he would have gone insane long ago if not for them and Quin.
After gargling the mouthwash and spitting it into the sink, he hopped into the shower. Cold water rained down on him for a few seconds before it became warm, which he found a little amusing. Even he, with his True Soul, couldn’t conjure up a shower that instantly sprayed warm water.
He stood under the showerhead, channeling his Fire Essence to burn off any excess sweat or grime from the previous night he spent with Keyvarah. The water ran down his body, washing away the filth, yet his guilt for his perceived sins remained.
He could absolve himself of most of it through a conversation with Keyvarah. The last… was one he’d have to face alone for now. One day, when Keyvarah’s mind was more sound and she could stand on her own again, only then would he tell her and seek forgiveness.
He sighed as he ran a hand through his wet hair. All this talk of absolution and forgiveness only reminded him of his mother, a devoutly religious woman who raised his sister and him in the church. However, his faith drifted in early adulthood, during his time in service to the military, and losing his sister shattered it.
A knock at the door drew him from his introspection as Keyvarah’s voice called out to him over the din of the showerhead. “June!? May I come in?”
“Just give me a second. I’ll be out soon,” June called back.
However, a sigh escaped his mouth as a second later, the door handle rattled. Keyvarah tried to push her way in, but his barrier prevented her from doing so. After failing to get inside for around ten seconds, she released the handle and took a step away from the door. With his Aura, he could sense her turn into a cloud of shadowy mist that tried to slip in through the cracks of the doors.
Unfortunately for her, that also failed when she ran right into his barrier. She quickly reformed her body on the other side. Her crestfallen face appeared in his mind’s eye as tears welled up in her eyes.
He exhaled a light breath of annoyance and, with a flick of his Kinetic Essence, he unlocked the door and swung it open. The moment he did, Keyvarah’s face brightened, and she jumped to her feet and bolted straight for him, her fear and desperation obvious. But he stopped her as he caught her in a ball of Wind Essence before she could collide with him.
“Hold your horses, Keyvarah,” June said as she floated into the shower with him.
Her relieved expression shifted to a frown. “Why would I hold my horses?”
That brought a chuckle out of him. It seemed like Earth idioms wouldn’t work here on Syrova, even when translated.
“It means to calm down or wait,” he said, setting her down beneath the showerhead before getting out.
“Wait!” Keyvarah shouted, grabbing his wrist. “Where are you going?”
He twisted his hand free from her grip before clasping hers in both of his. “I’m not going anywhere, Keyvarah. I promise.”
She stared at him; her fear and doubt blaring brightly from her eyes.
“I give you my word. I won’t abandon you, Keyvarah,” he said, his voice soft as he gazed deep into her eyes, trying to pierce the fear and apprehension there to find the woman she once was.
Her eyes brightened, and a smile graced her face, a glimpse of her former self shining through. “Then I shall keep you to it, June.”
It looked like there was a lot more he’d have to do to help her if he wanted to heal her mind of the trauma and dependency.
He released her hand and motioned to the water. “Wash up. I’ll be right here.”
She nodded before turning to face the water. However, June didn’t miss the fact that her eyes constantly flicked to him. His words alone weren’t enough to chase away her doubts; he knew that. It’d take time and dedication if he wanted to really help her heal.
Shaking his head slightly, he reached over and grabbed the clothes he had conjured last night from where he had left them on the vanity. Within seconds, he slipped into them. They fit snug and had the fresh scent of new clothes bought straight from the store.
He felt Keyvarah’s stare bore into him, and he turned to her, finding a strange expression on her face.
“What?” he asked.
His gaze followed hers, drifting down to his clothes.
“Right,” he said. “You’ve never seen clothing like this before, have you?”
She shook her head. “No. Are those clothes common where you’re from?”
“Yeah,” he said, turning to look at himself in the mirror.
He frowned slightly. There was… something missing. A light bulb then went off in his head, and he wove together another piece of clothing. Keyvarah turned off the shower and stepped out just as he finished creating his desired item. A long overcoat materialized in his hands. In one smooth motion, he swung it around and threw it on, his arms sliding smoothly into the sleeves.
He examined himself once more, satisfied with his ensemble, before turning to find Keyvarah right beside him. Water dripped from her nude body, soaking her to the bone. Lust and adoration swirled in her eyes as she ogled him.
He expected what came next as her arms raised to wrap him in an embrace. But he was faster than she was as he stepped out of her reach.
“Now’s not the time,” he said, throwing up a hand to stop her next advance.
“Why?” she asked, her lips pouting.
“Because there are things we need to do today. But before any of that, you and I need to have a much-needed conversation,” June said, stepping forward and placing a hand on her lower back, drying her with his Fire Essence.
He led her out of the bathroom and over to the bed, where she sat with a pout still on her face. His mind searched his memory, sifting through the images and impressions he found when he was in her mind. The slideshow came to a halt when he came upon an image of her standing before a mirror in a simple but elegant dress.
The dress came in two parts. First was the white gown that reached Keyvarah’s chest, with arm sleeves that met at the same point, leaving her shoulders exposed. The gown flowed down and spilled around her. Over the gown was a green corset-style bodice with shoulder straps. The laced strings of the bodice ran from her torso up to just below her breasts. Tied tight, it pushed up her breasts, accentuating them, and showed off her hips.
A radiant smile shone on her face as she stared at herself in the mirror. The lingering happiness and excitement of the memory pulsed slightly as June decided that this would do. In an instant, he wove the outfit together with only a few minor adjustments.
He also crafted together another set of clothes. This time, some black form-fitting pants with matching tops. Several sets of women’s underwear, as well as high-top boots, and a multitude of coats that ranged in size and color. These clothes weren’t for Keyvarah. Instead, he made them for Quin. She deserved better clothes than the rags she was currently wearing.
“Here,” he said, handing the clothes he had made for her while storing the others. “Put this on.”
She accepted the clothes and rifled through them before she gasped and looked up at him. He could see the shock and elation, clear as day, on her face, as tears welled up in her eyes once more. She rose and moved to embrace him. This time, he didn’t avoid her, accepting the hug as she wrapped her arms around him.
She pulled him in tight against her, burying his face in her bosom, as her body trembled slightly. The heat radiating from her bare skin could have melted an icecap.
He had never experienced a hug like that before. It was usually he who wrapped women during an embrace. Yet he took it in stride, wrapping his arms around her torso as her tears flowed onto his shoulder.
“You’re okay,” he said, rubbing her back slowly.
She nodded, sniffled, and continued to hold him. They remained like that for a time before he patted her hip lightly. “You should get dressed now. There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”
Her body tensed for a moment, her grip tightening, before she reluctantly released him and sniffled. “If that is your wish, June.”
“That’s… never mind,” he said, his jaw tensing as he released her and motioned at the pile of clothes on the bed. “Go.”
She happily nodded and turned to dress herself. June’s gaze lingered on her plump rear for a heartbeat, recalling what they’d done the night before and how much he’d enjoyed it—enjoyed her. He caught himself and shook his head, turning away and pressing his fingers to his brow while his other arm crossed his chest, bracing the elbow in quiet frustration. It was one misinterpretation after another with her, despite his efforts to set clear boundaries.
There was a lot of work she needed to do, and he was willing to help her see it through. But would his resolve hold in the face of her temptations? It would have to if he hoped to rid her of her trauma that latched her onto him.
Apprehension coursed through Keyvarah’s veins as she sorted the garments June had gifted her. They reminded her of the set her brother had gifted her on her seventieth birthday. She loved the attire and wore it often until her mother made her stop, instead wanting to dress her up in frilly dresses with many thick layers.
She picked up the white chemise, its fabric soft in her hand, and brought it to her face. Her eyes nearly rolled to the back of her head as she inhaled a deep breath; her Vampiric senses picking up faint traces of June’s Essences still lingering. A somewhat twisted smile broke out across her face. She’d love and cherish his gift for the rest of her existence.
However, she frowned when she placed the garment down, and her eyes landed on two foreign pieces. She picked them up, one in each hand, and stared at them. They looked like black, lacy undergarments, but why was there so little fabric?
“June? What are these?” she asked, turning to face him.
Apparently, he had also turned away as he turned to look at her. “Hmm?”
Anxiety flashed through her at the notion. Had June found her nude body repulsive? Was that why he chose not to dignify her with his attention, slowly choosing to push her away while giving her false platitudes?
Terror slowly wrapped its cold, dead hands around her neck, squeezing tight. She struggled to breathe but couldn’t as her vision darkened before flashing to Hivengel lying on top of her, choking her as he ravaged her. He still had her trapped within his demented world as nothing more than his plaything.
That was until June’s warm touch flung him to the wayside. Her vision cleared, and she gasped for breath as she collapsed to her knees. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she buried her face in his chest.
“I’ve got you,” June whispered, holding her in his arms as he knelt before her, rubbing her back soothingly. “Just breathe, forget everything, and just focus on me, okay?”
The steady beat of his heart worked to soothe her, reminding her of where she was and who she was with. She struggled to slow her ragged breaths, trying to match his heart. Hivengel was no more, and she was safe. That was nothing more than a living nightmare.
He remained with her, holding her for what must have been an eternity. Only when her breathing had calmed and her tears dried did he release her.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked, placing a hand on her cheek and running a thumb across it.
She leaned into his touch, enjoying the comfort and safety it represented, and nodded. “Thanks to you.”
He gave her a sympathetic smile before rising to his feet, pulling her up in the process. His eyes fell on the items she had dropped. He knelt and picked one of them up, holding it before her. “This is women’s underwear. Here, stick your feet into the holes.”
She did as he bade, and he pulled the garments up, the light brush of his fingers along her thighs sending shivers down her back. When he pulled the garment snug against her, she found it more comfortable than she had expected. They provided her with ease of mobility while sitting secured against her hips.
“Where I’m from, we call these panties, and this…” he explained as he bent down to grab the other item, “is a strapless bra.”
He walked around behind her and slipped his hands under hers, bringing the bra up and around to her breasts before clipping it together behind her.
“You should adjust them if there’s any pinching or discomfort,” he said.
She turned, adjusting her breasts to sit more comfortably within the bra. June had turned to the bed and picked up the chemise before turning back to her. He held it before her like he had the panties, and a light smile fluttered across her lips as she stepped into it.
He continued to help her into the garments he had given her, and in a short while, she admired herself in the mirror hanging on the wall opposite the bed. The ensemble came together nicely with June making a few adjustments.
The chemise didn’t flow all the way to her feet. Instead, the chemise’s cut was just above her knee, tapered at an angle with the left side higher, revealing her knee, and ran down to the right side, which hung near her calf. The green bodice itself flowed down to her calf, which contrasted nicely with her auburn hair.
On her feet were brown boots, perfect for traveling and stomping in monster brains, with buckles running up along their sides. To top everything off, a cream-colored belt sat cinched around her waist. Adorning it were pouches, daggers, a rapier, and its sheath. The best part was that she had a concealed dagger strapped to her left thigh, easily accessible by just slightly raising her chemise.
She turned to face June with a bashful smile. “Well, how do I look?”
“Beautiful,” he said, giving her a charming smile.
Her heart raced at his compliment as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to him. “Sit; we need to talk.”
Her fluttering heart stilled for a moment, but she complied, sitting beside him. He shifted to face her, lifting a leg to rest on the bed. She mirrored his actions and stared long and hard into his eyes, searching for any signs of deceit or doubt. She found only sympathy and conflict, which didn’t abate her fear or anxiety. His resolve hardened, and he took a deep breath as she braced herself for the worst.
“Are you okay with how roughly I treated you last night?” he asked.
She blinked in surprise. “Yes! I already told you, I’m yours to do with as you please.”
“Okay, but there is a difference between you wanting it and wanting it because you think I want it.”
“And what is the difference?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Well, for starters. One stems from your own pleasure and satisfaction, while the other is from fear. Whether it’s your partner or their reaction doesn’t matter. The main thing is that you’re doing it out of fear. And I’m not okay with that.”
Heat rose to her cheeks and ears. “What of it? I’m obviously okay with it if it’s you,” she snapped defensively.
“That’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that I suspect you’d be willing to do anything for me and let me do anything to you because you’re afraid if you don’t, I’d abandon you.”
“But you won’t. You gave me your word,” Keyvarah said.
“Yes, I did bu—”
She then interrupted him mid-sentence. “And because we’re now lovers. Fated to be together for all of eternity, for I am yours.”
June blinked rapidly for a heartbeat before he shook his head. “No… we’re not.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry, but… that’s not what we are.”
“What?” she whispered, her entire world coming to a screeching halt.
“Look, what you’re experiencing is a coping mechanism for all the trauma you’ve endured,” June said, grabbing her hand and holding it.
Her frown deepened. “Coh-ping meka-nizim? Tra-ma? What are you on about, June? What language uses those words?”
It was his turn to frown as he looked down for a moment before finding her eyes again. “What I’m trying to say is that I think your love and affection for me are misplaced. You’re using it, holding onto it to fend off the dark and heinous experiences you’ve had over these past two years.”
Rage instantly snuffed out her confusion as she glared at him. “Are you saying that you think my love for you isn’t real!?”
“Yes,” June said, but before he could continue, the loud crack of her hand slapping him across the face reverberated through the room.
However, she failed to leave even a mark, let alone move his face, as he sat there and took it. The lack of any reaction from him stung her just as bad, if not worse than the slap itself.
“How dare you think that! Say that!” she screamed.
“Keyvarah,” June whispered, silencing her, “we only met yesterday. You barely know anything about me.”
“I already know all there is to know!” she shouted back. “You saved me! Protected me!”
Her voice then grew quiet as her gaze fell to her hand in his, tears streaming down her face. “Loved me…”
June pulled her in and embraced her. “Sometimes, sex doesn’t constitute love. For some, it does—especially for God—but for most people, it doesn’t.”
Her head began to spin as she registered more and more of his words. Her heart raced as if she were running from a monster chasing her, and she couldn’t flee. The world around her was slowly falling apart, the illusion that she had built crumbling.
Why? Why does he have to be so kind, even when rejecting her?
“But that doesn’t mean that what we shared last night was meaningless to me. It meant the whole world to me. But I also have to address a major issue with what happened.”
She stifled her tears, wiping them away before looking up at him.
“What you did is considered assault where I’m from. You should have asked to join me in bed instead of forcing yourself in. By doing so, your actions aren’t so different from Hivengel’s. Taking what you want when you want.”
Her eyes narrowed into slits, her voice lowering into a growl. “I am nothing like that sorry sack of goblin shit!”
“I know you’re not. You’re the farthest thing from Hivengel,” June said, rubbing her arm. “But people are defined by their actions, and I just wanted you to be aware. Next time, just ask.”
Her eyebrows shot towards the sky at his last words.
“Next… time?” she asked in a tentative voice.
“Yes,” June said hesitantly, his hand pausing.
“Just because we aren’t lovers doesn’t mean that we can’t share each other’s company. Besides…” he paused for a moment as his eyes dipped to her belly before returning to hers, “I’m not opposed to the idea, just not right now. How about… friends.”
Her eyes brightened, her lips curled into an ecstatic smile, and tears of joy ran down her face. She pushed him over, and they fell onto the bed as she rained kisses on his face.
“Okay, that’s enough,” June said after a moment, a hearty laugh escaping his lips.
She sat up, allowing him to as well, and a question crossed her mind. “Why not right now?”
June sat up and placed a hand on the side of her head. “The healing of your mind…” he then placed his other hand on her chest, “and soul comes first.”
He released her before his shoulders slumped, his voice turning into a wisp in the forest. “And… I just can’t right now.”
She frowned as she scooted closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Why?”
He looked at her for a moment, conflicted, before turning away. Her shoulders sagged as she too looked away. It seemed like he wasn’t willing to open up to—
However, his sudden voice drew her attention again. “I had a family, and I’ve been away from them for a very, very long time. It wasn’t until yesterday that I had my first chance of returning home, and when I did…”
His voice broke a little as tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes. “They were dead.”
Keyvarah sat there, shocked at the revelation and his change in demeanor. He was right. She didn’t know anything about him. This entire time, he was grieving, and she was…
Shame fell over her as she wrapped him in a hug. All this time, he had been caring for her while also needing someone to do the same. Meanwhile, all she could see was what she wanted to see. If she were really looking at him, she wouldn’t have missed the sadness in his eyes. The heaviness in his voice. Or his calling her “Natalie” before waking.
Gods—was he right? Was she only using him as a shield to protect herself? She didn’t know as the storm of emotions toiled within her. All she knew now was that he needed her, and she’d be there for him. They remained like that for some time, just taking solace, seeking it, in each other’s embrace.
After a while, he rose and excused himself to the bathroom, leaving her alone with her thoughts. For the first time since being freed, neither fear nor anxiety reared its ugly head. She knew deep down in her heart that June would come out of the bathroom because he had given his word that he would never abandon her, and she trusted him. For the first time in a long time, she trusted someone.
However, a stinging pang stabbed her in the chest. Even if June had shared his grief with her, he had chosen to mourn alone as the time ticked by, and he remained in the bathroom. She wanted to go to him—to comfort him—but she saw things a little more clearly now. He needed his space for the time being. Like he said, he wasn’t ready to let someone in yet. She sighed as she pulled her legs up and clutched them to her chest. Maybe—someday—he’ll let her in.
A long while after, June exited the bathroom, his face cleaned, and she took his place. She washed her face of the tears and snot before looking at herself in the mirror. Previously, all she had seen was a monster covered in blood—nothing more than Hivengel’s little pet. But now, she saw only herself. Not her old self, before Hivengel, but the new her. A scarred woman with many wounds. She wasn’t ready to confront this new her yet, but she knew she’d have June there with her when she was.
She wiped her face dry with a towel before exiting to find June standing by the door. When he saw her, he reached out an open hand to her. “Are you ready to take on the world today?”
She smiled—her first genuine smile—as she nodded. “Yes, June.”
She clasped his hand, and he pushed the door open.
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